De-Escalating the Stress: 5 Essential Coping Tips from Expert Teepa Snow

6.1.26

Dementia educator and occupational therapist Teepa Snow.. Source: Aging Care / Dementia Caregiving Tips from Teepa Snow - AgingCare.com

Today’s caregiver tip of the week is brought to you by the wonderful Teepa Snow.

As an occupational therapist and dementia education specialist, Teepa has become a world-renowned expert in dementia care and managing caregiver stress. This week, we are diving into five practical, highly effective tips she recommends for coping during stressful, challenging interactions with your loved one.

5 Tips for Coping During Challenging Moments

When an interaction starts to feel overwhelming or tense, try navigating the situation using this step-by-step approach:

1.1. Step Back: Pause and observe.

When an interaction is not going well, you have a choice: you can push your agenda and watch things get worse, or you can step back and think. What is happening is often far more complicated than it appears on the surface.

Remember: the person challenging you is doing the very best they can with the cognitive abilities they have left. Stop judging them. Become a detective instead. Ask yourself:

• What am I seeing and hearing?

• What might be their unmet emotional or physical need?

• What are they trying to communicate?

  
  

2.2. Respond (Don’t React): Choose validation over correction.

If your loved one didn't react the way you wanted or expected, stop trying to correct them. Stop pointing out errors, stop raising your voice, and stop saying "Remember, I already told you that!"

Instead, use reflective narrative language: repeat back what they said to you to acknowledge and validate their feelings. Don't worry about who is right or wrong. Instead, offer a gentle apology: "I'm sorry I upset you, I was trying to help."

3.3. Make Plans, but Expect Them to Change: Build in room to pivot.

Having a schedule and being organized is wonderful. However, when things don't go according to plan, you must remain flexible.

If your plan isn’t working, don't try to force it. Adjust your agenda, figure out an alternative, and always keep a Plan B, Plan C, or Plan D ready in your back pocket.

4.4. Figure out What You Can (and Can’t) Control: Know your limits.

You cannot control or fix your loved one's dementia, their past habits, or their immediate behaviors. Trying to do so will only leave you exhausted.

What you can control is their physical environment and their sensory experiences. You can control where they are, the objects they have access to, and how you guide their time. Focus your energy there.

5.5. Take Care of Yourself: Take a caregiver time-out.

When you feel frustration, anger, or despair building up, step away from the situation. Take at least three slow, deep breaths.

Those living with dementia are incredibly sensitive; they pick up on and react to your underlying stress, tone of voice, and body language. Taking a moment to breathe lowers your stress levels and helps you regain the calm perspective needed to problem-solve.

The Takeaway

Dementia care is incredibly hard work. When things don't go as planned, it doesn't mean you are failing—it just means it is time to take a breath, pivot, and give yourself the same grace you extend to your loved one.

Never hesitate to reach out and build support systems around you for those unexpected, challenging days!

Have a nice week!